Thunder Volcano

Boundless enthusiasm for something stupid

Spanglish

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It’s a rare occurrence that I amuse myself to the point that I’m proud of it*, but this tickled me to the extent that I felt the need to share.  What follows is the bulk of an email I sent to my friend Thaddeus (the rest is boring stuff meant to help him with a roadtrip he’s on), along with his entire response.

To: Thaddeus Kibbutz
From: Baron Volcano
Date: 8/15/2011 4:12 PM
Subject: Travellins
Also, since I figured it might be of use to you, I talked to one of the Lionels at work and I think I know how to say “I am going to punch you in the dick with my mustache” in Spanish.  It’s “te voy a pegar un trompon en el pene con mi bigote.”  A couple caveats: firstly, he insisted that my version didn’t entirely make sense because “trompon” implies you’re using your fist.  So if you want to be grammatically correct, leave out “un trompon” and it’ll translate into “I’m going to hit you in the dick with my mustache.”  Also I don’t know if there’s a better slang term than “pene” since that’s the more clinical term.  I didn’t ask because that guy already thinks I’m weird from the time I snuck up behind him and rubbed my beard on him.  Anyway, I hope this is of use to you.

To: Baron Volcano
From: Thaddeus Kibbutz
Date: 8/15/2011 4:14 PM
Subject: Re: Travellins
you are certainly a remarkable individual.

*Not true.
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Written by Baron Volcano

09/01/2011 at 10:40 pm

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