Thunder Volcano

Boundless enthusiasm for something stupid

More Lazy, Self-Referential Jabbering

with one comment

WordPress helpfully offers a list of the search engine queries that people used to find this site, so as part of my ongoing effort to find things to write that don’t involve me putting in any actual thought, I started perusing this list.  The results were a 50/50 mix of entertaining and baffling.  Here are a few of my favorites (in rough order of least to most awesome) with commentary:

samoas cookies with a purple sneakers
The list was – by far (say, 95%) – dominated by phrases relating to Samoas and/or Coconut Dreams (though notably few mentioned Caramel deLites, the lame politically-correct title applied to Samoas in some states).  My first inclination was to assume I know a lot of people who liked that post but haven’t quite figured out the “bookmark” button.  But on second thought, it’s entirely likely that a lot of people on the internet are really interested in reading about these cookies for some reason.  Either way, I have no idea how the hell anything I have ever said relates to purple sneakers.

putting on uniform
I cannot possibly figure out what anyone would hope to gain by doing a google search for this phrase.

thought of the day about air
Are there a lot of people writing profound thoughts about air?  If not, there’s apparently a market for it.

why was there an egg in the fucking volcano
This is also sort of an odd thing to Ask Jeeves, but now I really want to know the answer.  Hell, I’d settle for knowing where this question comes from.  The most likely explanation I can think of involves the phrases “Dave Poole” and “drunken rage.”

“case of relish”
Can you imagine trying to find a place to purchase large amounts of hot dog fixin’s, only to stumble across an article about ejaculating condiments?  I hope I provided insight into this person’s quest for lots of mashed-up pickles.  Failing that, I kind of hope I made somebody swear off the internet forever.

how to become a semen volcano
There are few times in my life when I feel truly proud of myself.  But somehow, knowing I created something that’s relevant to this pervy dude’s absurd (and hopefully entirely sincere) question, I just swell up with pride.
It is also worth noting that this is the only search in the list that I didn’t repeat.  I’m not sure I want to find what this dude was actually looking for.


Written by Baron Volcano

05/01/2011 at 7:38 pm

One Response

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  1. “Can you imagine trying to find a place to purchase large amounts of hot dog fixin’s, only to stumble across an article about ejaculating condiments?”

    that one made me have to stifle a laugh in the office


    05/02/2011 at 2:57 pm

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