Thunder Volcano

Boundless enthusiasm for something stupid

Old Lady Sweatshirt

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As part of my uniform at work, I was issued one of those nondescript crewneck sweatshirts – like this one.  For some reason, I associate these things with old ladies.  Every time I put mine on I feel like I should also be putting on my teal and purple windbreaker (possibly with matching pants) and my bright white sneakers ($6.99 at K Mart) then picking up my giant purse (contents: six Werther’s Originals) so I can go volunteer at the library and then hit up the early bird special where I will regale the teenage waitress with stories about my six cats before I fill my purse with dinner rolls and Sweet ‘N’ Low.  I’ll probably have a ball of tissues permanently up the sleeve of my sweatshirt and I’ll have Unnaturally Red lipstick smeared all over an area that not only includes my mouth, but also an additional 15% of my face and no less than four of my teeth.

Is this just me?  From the weird looks I’ve gotten when asking people, I get the impression that it is.


Written by Baron Volcano

10/12/2010 at 1:38 am

Posted in Hootenanny

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